If you are a stay at home mom (SAHM) or working mom, then its important to not loose yourself in the kid tide. Being a taxi for your 'lil ones and folding underwear is in the job description, but you need to find balance and not loose who you are as a WOMEN! Staying balance isn't the easiest thing to do, but its super important. Finding a hobby or something you can do just for yourself, once a day or week will help so you don't feel lost in the shuffle.
A happy mom is a happy home! Or is it....IF Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy? lol
I love being a SAHM, but it has taking time to find myself as a person and know when I need me time. I can now tell when I am feeling not balance and that's when I say hold up, wait, I need to get in check. You are not helping anyone around you if you are not balanced and all tense and about to LOOSE IT!!! When mom is unbalanced, stressed or burnt out, everyone suffers. Kids can feel tension from mom and tend to start acting out, so its a loose~loose situation.
If you take an hour or two just for YOU, for whatever makes you happy or relaxed, the rest of the day (or week) will be easier and more fun for everyone. Your husband and kids will enjoy having an energetic and refreshed mom to play with them and have a full filled day. Lets get down to it by saying, that by paying attention to your own needs as a MOM even if your a SAHM or working mom, you’ll actually be better at meeting everyone else’s needs.
Here are some ideas to stay balanced:
1-Exercise!!!! Even if its only taking a walk, do it!!!! Clear your head! It releases so much stress and tension. If you can do it alone, great, if you can head to the gym and be surrounded by others who are soaking in the exercise euphoria, great. Just find a way to do it. TRUST me on this one.
2- Spend time with other moms! Playdates are not just for the kids! Set up regular time to visit with other moms to just vent and chat. Its best to find other moms you actually LIKE hanging out with. Don't just set up playdates bc the kids are friends, set up playdates with YOUR friends! I think its funny when moms feel obligated to do playdates with a child's friend and you don't enjoy it as a parent. We have little time as it is, choose to surround yourself with people and other parents that you enjoy. Laughing and smiling is the best medicine! Funny friends make for a happy heart. Need some time to yourself, then do a trade with another parent! Even having an hour to yourself to go shopping, get a pedicure, massage, is just enough time to unwind and get your head straight. Lets be honest, going to the grocery store by yourself sometime feels like a mini vacay!
3-Meet with a girlfriend for coffee or tea. If you have to bring the kids, bring a bag with snacks and activities to keep them busy so you can chat with your gal pal. If you can get away and do it without the kids then all the better. Time without them to drink your coffee without having to make sure they are happy and not getting into stuff is nice to do too.
4- Fill the tub with warm water, turn some relaxing music on (literally-type in relaxation music on pandora! its great), bubbles, sea salt to relax those muscles and then...........this is key .......................................LOCK the DOOR!!!! Close your eyes and just take time to relax. Let hubby take care of the kids and just take time for yourself. Don't worry that they are probably making a mess, just clear your mind and breathe. Taking time to breathe really deeply in general will not only relax you but provides your body with extra O2 to energize you for the remainder of the day.
5- Lock yourself in your bathroom and give yourself a facial and do your nails! Do some SLOOOOW beauty~dry brush your skin, oil treatment for your hair, anything that keeps focus on yourself. Cleaning the tub does not count!
6- DON'T, I repeat, DONT skip on sleep!!! Not only is a tired mom a grumpy mom, but sleep deprivation releases cortisol into your bloodstream that makes you well, lets get real, FAT! And that will make you feel grumpy for sure, gaining weight or lugging around extra lbs. So instead of staying up late to try to be a super hero, pinteresting kinda mom, think again and go to BED!! Also, if your child is napping, take that time for yourself to unwind or curl up and nap with them. I know you probably feel that you get so much done when they are sleeping, but you know what? It will still be there tomorrow and the next day. Take that time for yourself, not to mop the floor.
7-The one thing that I have been told by moms with grown children that sticks in my head is: don't worry about having a clean house all the time. Take that time to spend playing with your kids. Before you know it, they will be gone and your house will be sparkling clean. I'm not saying let it get gross and smelly, just don't put so much pressure on yourself to have a perfectly clean house. I mean really, you clean it and its messy 20 minutes later anyway.
Take time to play, because it sometimes gets skipped over after all the errands and taxing around. Play with your kids, your husband, your friends!
8- Meditate! Do it in the bath, yoga class, in bed at night, wherever you can. Stop and clear your mind of all that needs to be done. All distractions ignored and just close your eyes and breathe.
Some advice on how to meditate.
9- You don't have to do it all, all the time. Your family is capable of doing things too! I know, its a shocker right? They might not do it exactly the way you would or want, but really, who cares? The kids can do the dishes, pick out their clothes and brush their teeth. They don't need mom for everything and the hovering as well as the need to feel needed isn't as important as raising self sufficient children and a balanced happy mom.
Are you saying to yourself right now,
"I ain't got time for that! who's got time for that? Aint nobody got time for dat!" (oh sweet brown-lol, got to love youtube)
Well, do you ever watch TV? One program is at least 30 minutes??? Ditch the fluff and do something for yourself instead. Ever since I turned my cable off, I get so much more done and more time to myself. For some reason and tips to get started check out our post Join the NO TV Movement. You don't have to turn your cable off, just choose NOT to turn it on, even if its background noise and see what HAPPENS......I like to use music to set my mood and help with stress that may come my way. So~Turn on some music and DANCE!!! It really works and your kids, the dog, neighbors love to join in, and your exercising too (*bonus, cha ching)! Music really helps to set any mood, and if I am at home, the music is on. So stop by for a dance party or relax session, it could be either at any time :)
LIVE! Play! LOVE! That will keep you balanced, your family happy and a full filled life. You only get one, make it the best you can.Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.
Namaste~Brandi
2 comments:
Your insights on managing the intricate roles of motherhood are invaluable. How Name Change A guiding light for moms seeking equilibrium amidst the challenges.
Love thiss
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